CenterlineRight: It’s All About Control

Who has it? Who wants it? How much is enough? How much is too much? Once you get it, can you handle it? Once obtained, how do you relinquish it? Can we share it with others? Can we share it with others with whom we disagree? Where does our control end and someone else’s control begin? These are many of the questions about control that we grapple with on a daily basis and discover…to our dismay…that hard and fast answers are hard to come by.

For those whose lives are centered on faith, there is an acceptance that all things are the will of God. How we deal with that will on an individual basis is the true test of our worth and the quest for our salvation. But the everlasting question remains foremost in our thoughts: What exactly is the dynamic between God’s will and my free will? That is a question that we must all answer in our own time and our own way.

In a subordinate sense, and unfortunately a more prevailing fashion, there is the very real and tumultuous debate about political control…how it is gained and how it is used. I use the term political not so much in a partisan sense (although that clearly applies to a major portion of it), but in a broader sense that takes into account the various psychological and emotional methods we all use to try and influence others to bend in our direction. We all practice and experience this in our daily lives. We live it with our families and friends; we contend with this in our workplaces; we struggle with this in our own psyche when making personal and private decisions. The use…and abuse…of political power in this world can be a powerful force for good and alas, it can be a Machiavellian force for evil.

Learning to cope and deal responsibly with control, both the control we possess and the control we exist within, is something that we should learn from infancy through adulthood. Each of us must walk our own paths in this effort because reality dictates that control is not evenly distributed throughout our species. Some have an abundance of it from an early age and many spend a lifetime without any semblance of it whatsoever.

Complicating the equation even further is the reality that control is both real and perceived. Being able to clearly discern these elements and their respective amounts in each situation is oftentimes the key to effective and responsible use of control. Fundamental to this mix is figuring out precisely what degree of control we have and what degree of control is exercised by others. This is easy to say, but hard to figure out. Some have a knack for understanding the situation and realizing the best ways to manage it; they are good at reading the room. Others (c’est mois) spend their entire lives wondering who the hell is in control.

For each of us, learning to deal with the control element in our lives will turn out to be an eternal challenge populated with victories, defeats, celebrations, confusion, and embarrassments. Most of us will never truly master the art of control, but we eventually learn how to effectively cope with the science aspect of it. Coming to terms with control is part of survival in today’s world. You can buy into it; you can fight it; you can adopt a philosophy of submission to it….but we must all deal with it.

Here’s the deal: Those who hold the power possess the control. Ergo: We had best be damned careful about who we put in power. Because those people…especially the ones who actively seek the power…make a living of reading the room and have pretty much mastered the art of control. To a very large extent…our nation, culture, and society is at their mercy. Heck…I suppose the world is at their mercy. So…how is that control being used these days?